The Secret Life Of A Hogwarts Student
by way 2 HP obsesed
Summary: Takes place during Harry’s sixth year. A story of life, love, pranks, revenge, and MUCH MORE! This is what all our favorite characters are really thinking and writing in their journals, notebooks, diaries, and in Ron’s case, napkins.
1. Chapter 1 Quidditch Strategies and more

_**Disclaimer: WE. I REPEAT. WE DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANY of its awsomeness!! DO YA HERE ME? **_

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**_Chapter 1_****_:_** **Quidditch Strategies, Dufaces, and Girlfriend Hiding **

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_**(Harry'**__**s Journal)**_

_I__n the Gryffindor Common Room (7:34 pm)_

Why do girls have to be so confusing? Why can't they just say what they're thinking? Earlier today, I was gazing at Ginny during Quidditch practice, (Hey! I know I should have been paying more attention to the game, but…well, you know how I am. She was right in front of me…she sure does look good on a broom from behind…anyway!) And she turned around and caught me staring at her.

"Harry? Why aren't you watching your team?" she asked.

"Oh, darling, I was just admiring your bloody hot flying skills," I said flirtatiously.(Well, ok, I didn't really say that…but it would have been hilarious!)

"Oh, er--sorry, I'll get going" I said instead.

She smiled at me, and you know how I get when she smiles at me, so I almost fell straight off my broom. I know real smooth.

Anyway, as I was saying, can't she just break up with Dean already?! I could have sworn I saw a hint of disappointment in her eyes, (And I know how to read her eyes, seeing as I stare into them every chance I can get.) when she said she couldn't come to Hogsmede with Ron, Hermione, and I because she said she'd go with Dean. I hate Dean. Oh dang, Ron's trying to read over my shoulder…I'll write again later.

_Still in the Gryffindor Common Room (7:48 pm)_

Ok, I'm back. Ron's left with Lavender, and Hermione has stalked off to the library.

Reasons Why I hate Dean

1. He's a git.

2. He's Ginny's boyfriend.

3. He took my Ginny. Well, I never really _had_ her, but still.

4. Yesterday, he wouldn't pass the salt at lunch.

5. He's an evil git.

6. I hate his guts.

7. Ok, this list is getting nowhere…

8. He wouldn't pass the pepper at lunch either.

_**(Ginny's**__** Diary)**_

_In the library__ (8:15 pm)_

Why do boys have to be so confusing? Why can't they just say what they're thinking? Dean has been so obnoxious lately! Here's what happened:

"Dean, why have you been so cold towards me lately?" I asked.

"Why to you think?" he retorted.

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking!" I said angrily. He is such an idiot. I don't even know why I'm even going out with him…well; yes I do; to make Harry jealous. But that's beside the point right now! Anyway, continuing with the tale of Dean the Duface:

"I think you know perfectly well why I am acting cold," Dean said annoyingly. How I yearned to slap him hard across the face…

"Why would I ask if I did know?" I muttered, "I don't just say things for no reason."

"Oh really?" he said in a stupidly arrogant tone, "Fine, I'll tell you why I'm angry at you! Why were you talking to Potter this afternoon at practice?"

"What, am I not allowed to talk to my own captain?!" I fumed. The truth was, I had stationed myself right in front of Harry so that he would be forced to watch me. (And I wore my cutest training shorts and tank, for hopeful added jealousy…I froze to death, but hey; sacrifices!) While we were practicing, I turned around on my broom and caught him staring right at me, or more like my bum. All in all, I considered it a successful practice.

Well, back to Dean; we continued to argue until I said that if I wasn't allowed to talk to other boys then we could just end it right there and then, (Cough*Hopeful*Cough*Pretty*Please*Cough.) Then he started getting all sappy on my and trying to apologize and kiss me. God, the nerve of some people! You'd think he thought I had short term memory loss, the way he thought I'd just forgive him in an instant.

Reasons Why I Am Mad At Dean the Duface

1. He treats me like he owns me.

2. He thinks I have short term memory loss.

3. He doesn't like Harry.

4. He doesn't have as cute a bum as Harry.

5. He never passes the salt or pepper at lunch.

6. I don't like him.

7. He calls me "Ginny, Love" Eww! I'm not some adorable kitten!

_**(Hermione**__**'s Journal)**_

_I__n the Library (8:26 pm)_

I hate Ronald Weasley. Wait correction; I love Ronald Weasley…that is why I hate him. Why does he have to be so darn cute?! Why do I have to love him? What is he dating Lavender Brown. I hate Lavender, too. I'm going to stop calling her "Lavender" and refer to her as "The Evil One." It suites her better…

I have so much to do. I shouldn't be writing, I should be working.

Things I Have To Do

1. Finish that horrid potions essay for Snape

2. Start that even more horrid transfiguration essay for McGonagall

3. Hate Laven--I mean, The Evil One more…Mwahaha!

4. Play some dirty, evil trick on The Evil One

5. Hate Ron

6. Daydream about Ron

7. Help Neville find Trevor…again

8. Try to get Harry and Ginny to realize they both like each other…Arg! They are so blind sometimes!

9. Loathe the Evil One

10. Rewrite my arithmancy essay because Ron spilled ink all over it. I was in two minds; to either scream at him, or start snogging him because he noticed me glaring at him and apologized…he's so sweet! I went with the first option anyways.

_**Ron Weasley's "Not journal or Diary" (Those are for girls, and sissy's like Harry)**_

_I__n the boys bathroom near Gryffindor Tower (8:40 pm) _

I saw Harry writing in a diary earlier today! Here's what happened:

"Harry, what are you writing?" I had asked.

"Nothing!" Harry said quickly, closing his diary.

"Harry, don't tell me that's a…diary!?" I laughed and tried to grab the little book.

"It's not a diary!" Harry denied, yanking the diary away from me and turning red.

"Oh yeah? Then what is it?" I asked, amused.

"Well, er--," Harry stuttered, "It's my, uh, manly survival book of book. You know, I'm writing all my manly ideas of evil and all--"

He was interrupted by my hysterical laughter. Unfortunately, Lavender, who I had been successfully avoiding all afternoon, had heard me.

"Won Won!" she exclaimed, running over to Harry and I. "I've been looking _everywhere_ for you!"

"Oh, how surprising…" Harry mumbled. Apparently Lavender didn't hear him, because she disregarded him completely and grabbed my hand.

"Let's go for a walk, Won Won!" she said sweetly. I waved helplessly at Harry, who gave me the "Sorry mate, this is what you get for going out with a girl you don't actually like" look, as Lavender dragged me away toward the portrait hole.

"Where are we going?" I asked her nervously after we had left the common room.

"Oh, I dunno!" she said, and leaned in to kiss me. I ducked out of her way just in time, something I was getting a lot of practice at these days.

"Er…can you excuse me for just a sec? I need to use the restroom," I said.

"Oh, sure!" she said, and sat down on a bench near by. "I'll just wait for you here."

"Ok…" I said, and walked away towards the boy's bathroom, where I am now hiding. (This bathroom has become a place of refuge from Lavender for me lately.) I've been here for 40 minutes, but I don't want to risk leaving and getting caught by "Lav Lav" again. Arg! Sometimes I think dating this lunatic just to get Hermione jealous wasn't such a good idea…I need to end this…

Ways to Break Up With Lavender

1. Let her find me snogging some other random girl and take it from there…preferably Hermione…

2. Tell her she stinks and offer some of Hermione's perfume…Hahaha that would get Lavender bloody furious!

3. Just tell her I'm through with this and then talk to Hermione about how I really feel…no that would be much too practical and easy…

4. Sneak permanent green hair dye into her shampoo and tell her I did it because "green is _so_ her colour!" Well, that option would be the funniest…no doubt about that…

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NOTE: okay so there is the start to a new story! this is gunna be a great one! PLEASE review. More chapies to come!


	2. Chapter 2 Die Dean! DIE!

Disclaimer: We do not own harry potter JKR does...deal with it

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Note: Remember this takes place durring HBP but with none of that...important stuff

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Chapter 2

Die Dean! Die!

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(Harry's Journal)

I never thought I would be glad to be in the hospital wing, but today, I am. The reason for this sudden happiness can be phrased in three simple words: Ginny Is Here.

You should have seen her face earlier, crying her eyes out over my lifeless body. It was priceless.

You may want to know why it is that I am in the hospital wing in the first place. Why Ginny was crying over my still (and very handsome) body. I know you are probably picturing me in some amazing act of bravery, but sadly I just fainted. Ginny here was the cause, or rather, Dean was.

I walked into the common room; looked past Ron and Lavender (in the same chair) and then I saw them. Ginny had her arms around Dean and was kissing him furiously. I guess you know what happened; I was unconscious before I hit the floor. Sadly I couldn't take the sight of her kissing another man…

Luckily for me, Ron came up for air at the exact moment and saw Ginny and Dean (I found this out afterward.) Ron spent so long yelling at them, that by the time someone noticed me, no one knew how I had fainted. I am pretending that I don't remember how I got here, so I can enjoy the precious time I get with Ginny.

**Reasons why I am Happy right now:**

1. Ginny is here

2. Ginny was crying over me

3. Ron yelled at Dean

4. Dean is confused

5. Hermione is glad that Ron is too mad to snog Lavender

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(The back of Ron's Herbology essay)

I HATE DEAN! How dare he mess with my sister! I don't even care that I am ruining my homework!

**Things I could do to Dean:**

1. Throw him in the lake

2. Put all his clothes in a blender

3. Rip down his poster of his stupid soccer team

4. Slip him a potion to make his hair fall out

5. Feed him to a Screwt

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(Harry's Journal)

In History of Magic

Darn! I hate life right now! Stupid Dean had to go all lovey-dovey on Ginny and now she is spending all her time with him. I wish I was that boy that Ginny would spend time with! Is there something wrong with me? Do I smell? Is there something on my face?

Great! Now Ron is laughing at me! Maybe there is something on my face!

**Reasons why I am incredibly confused right now:**

1. Ron is laughing at me and I have no idea why.

2. Ginny is still with Dean

3. Ginny is still with Dean even though I smiled at her!

4. Hermione has a piece of paper balled up in her fist, which looks like a note, but she hasn't passed it to anyone yet.

5. Hermione finally passed that note! To Ron! I thought they were still fighting…

6. Ron read the note and then SMILED at Hermione! When did they make up? The last time I checked they were taking any chance to make fun of each other.

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(Harry's Journal)

Hiding in the Bathroom during lunch

Great! Well, now I know why Ron was laughing at me! I was so busy writing in this stupid Journal that I didn't notice when someone cast a spell on the back of my robes.

Apparently my robes said "I'm in love with a fancy hippogriff" all class. It wasn't until we were on our way to lunch and Ginny ran over to ask me who the lucky hippogriff was that Ron finally told me. I was so mad at him for not telling me, and so humiliated that Ginny saw it that I ran off to the bathroom in shame. That is why I am here, sitting in a cubicle in Moaning Myrtles bathroom, instead of the great hall for lunch. Very unlike me to run away like that, but I was so humiliated!

I wish I knew who put the charm on my robes! I will find out, and then I will beat them to a pulp! Forget wands, I'll come on to them with my bear hands! I bet it was Dean…I bet he wanted Ginny to see me like that to make him look better. Yeah…I bet it was him…I think I will ask Ron if he saw Dean do it.

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Later in the common room

(Another scrap of paper Ron is writing on)

Harry was just talking to me about his funny robe message. For some reason he thinks Dean did it. I told him I didn't know who did it, I was to busy watching Hermione write me a note. That was odd to; she asked if I would meet her in Moaning Myrtles bathroom during lunch on Friday. She said she had something to discus with me. I wonder what that could be…

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(Harry's Journal)

(8:15 pm)

So I asked Ron if he saw who cast the spell. He said he didn't, but I still think it was Dean. I think I will ask Hermione…

(8:20 pm)

Well that was a complete waste of time! Hermione snapped at me for interrupting her studying. Then she actually threw her book on poisons and antidotes at me when I asked what she wrote in that note to Ron. She can be so unhelpful at times!

(8:45 pm)

Here it is! I have spent the last twenty five minuets making a list of all the possible people who could have cast the spell. The list is short because they must have been sitting behind me, in the back row, or I would have seen them.

1. Dean, smack dam behind me too!

2. Neville, I really don't think he did it though

3. Justin FinchFlechly, what does he have against me?

4. Ernie MacMillan, no…I'm on good terms with him.

5. Seamus, Maybe Dean told him to…

6. Hannah Abbott, she always seemed kind of odd…

7. Okay who am I kidding Dean was the only possible person on that list!

8. Now that I am sure I need to think of some revenge…MWAHAHAHA!

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Note: So what did you think?

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Quote from Chapter 3:

"I'm wearing pink niffler underwear!"


	3. Chapter 3 Put That Plan Into Action

Disclaimer: We dont own Harry Potter, Jp does, we are but young school girls writting for fun. End of story

Chapter 3

Put that Plan Into Action!

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(Ginny's Diary)

In the girls dormitory (10:00 pm)

Awww! Harry was so cute and funny today! Walking around with that charm on his robes! I probably shouldn't have laughed at him, but come on, it was just too good to resist. I do feel bad for him though…especially when he very uncharacteristically ran away like that. I wonder who did that to him. I wish I was his girlfriend, and then I would be with him right now plotting revenge against the evil scum who did this!

**Reasons why I wish I was Harry's Girlfriend:**

1. I could help him plot revenge

2. I could stop feeling stupid for going out with guys like Dean

3. He is SO cute!

4. Hermione wouldn't scowl at me when she finds me staring at Harry.

5. Hermione wouldn't remind me that I was with Dean when she finds me staring at Harry.

6. I could pretty much stare at Harry whenever I wanted!

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(Harry's Journal)

During Transfiguration (9:45 am)

Okay, so what should I do to Dean? Hmmm…I could write something on the back of his robes… That sounds good…I wonder what I should write? Uh-oh here comes McGonagall.

(Harry's Journal)

During Herbology (10:15)

McGonagall gave me detention for not paying attention in class! I can't believe it that was really harsh! Although most of it was probably because when she asked me to perform the spell we had been learning I messed up and managed to transform her hat into a wild goose. The goose practically destroyed the whole classroom, so I guess I deserve detention.

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(Notes passed in Divination)

(1:32 pm)

Harry: I'm taking revenge on Dean!

Ron: Cool, count me in.

Harry: What should we write on his robes?

Ron: How about, "I'm wearing pink niffler underwear"?

Harry: HAHAHAHA nice one…got anything else?

Ron: What was wrong with that first one?

Harry: Nothing! Oh, Trawlany, we'll talk later.

Ron: Kay, but don't tell Hermione, she wont like what we're doing (rolls eyes)

Harry: What's up with you and Hermy anyway?

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(Harry's Journal)

6th year boy's dormitory (11:15pm)

WOW! Words cannot describe the awesomeness of what just happened! That definitely goes on the top of my 'best plots at Hogwarts' list. You know, even I didn't think that it was going to work that well, but MAN! That was _so_ cool!

This is exactly what happened:

(2:00pm) Ron, Hermione, and I go down to Care of Magical Creatures.

(2:05pm) Dean arrives with Seamus, LATE!

(2:10pm) Ron and I take our positions behind Dean while Hagrid showed us a new kind of beaked elephant thing, it looked hideous!

(2:12) Dean is watching the weird elephant things when BANG! Green smoke covers the area (courtesy of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes)

(2:13) Green smoke clears and Dean has PURPLE HAIR!

(2:13 and 15 seconds) Everyone erupts in laughter at the sight of Dean whose robes proclaimed: "I spend all my time in the bathroom with Moaning Myrtle."

I'm cracking up again just thinking about it! If you will believe it, it got better from there. Being the great, honorable students we are, on one told Dean what was on his back. The day went on from there with everyone snickering at Dean when they passed. But the best part had to be when Ginny caught up to him in the common room. I will never forget that scene…

(6:30pm)

_I was sitting in my favorite squashy armchair by the fire with Ron (Hermione was in the library for a change) when Dean came through the portrait hole. Once again everyone burst out laughing. It was amazing that Dean still didn't know why everyone was laughing._

"_What's so funny?" He asked for the hundredth time that day._

"_Nothing!" The whole common room chorused together, stifling more outburst of laughter._

_I was just getting back to my extremely long potions essay when Ginny came through the portrait hole. She walked over to Dean, I love the way she walks, who was standing alone against the wall._

"_I've heard some pretty odd rumors about you today." Ginny said to Dean. Even though she was on the complete other side of the room from me I could still hear the smile in her voice._

"_Really?" Dean replied, gosh how stupid could you be?_

"_Could you turn around for a second?" Ginny asked sweetly. Dean turned around and everyone in the common room laughed again._

"_Dean, if I were you, I would look at the back of your robes." Ginny could barely get the words out through her giggles. Dean turned and craned his neck to see his back. His face went immediately bright red and he ran up the stairs. Ginny was so overcome with hysterics that Ron went over to see if she was okay._

It was a great night. If only Ginny had broken up with Dean it would have been perfect. Oh well, as Ron said "You can't have everything in life."

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Note: Another chapter come and gone. I hope you liked it, i know this one was short, but hopefully they will start to get longer. Please tell us what ypu think.

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Quote from chapter 4:

"Ginny is going to make some kind of potion with Collins hair and apple pie and then feed it to Dean to make her happy?"

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	4. Chapter 4 Dancing,Rain and Flowered Pots

Disclaimer:

I do NOT own HARRY POTTER! I do however own some really cool glasses and a beautiful hawaiian cow!

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Chapter 4

Dancing in the Rain with a Flowered Pot

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**(Ginny's Diary)**

**Transfiguration (11:47am)**

I can't believe Dean went a whole day without knowing he had been hexed! Harry only had to endure one class of whispers and giggles. I do feel bad for Dean, but at the same time I don't really care. I will probably dump him soon anyway, especially since people were making fun of me for being "robe-boy's" girlfriend.

Why can't Harry just go out with me? I wouldn't mind any rumors about me and Harry. They would just make me feel better.

(12:01pm)

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**Notes passed in Transfiguration**

Colin: Funny, what happened to Dean, don't ya think?

Ginny: he is my boyfriend you know!

Colin: Yeah, but still, funny.

Ginny: Yeah…alright it way pretty…hilarious and all…

Colin: I never thought you should have gone out with Dean you know…

Ginny: WHAT?

Colin: I always thought you would have looked better with Potter.

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**(Ginny's Diary)**

**Lunch (12:30pm)**

**Reasons why I am ecstatic right now**

Colin (and hopefully other people) thinks I would look good with Harry!

My hair is working out GREAT today!

I am eating a REALLY good piece of apple pie

Dean is not at lunch because he is too embarrassed…I know I shouldn't be happy about that, but I am!

Harry is looking HOT today!

McGonagall didn't give us ANY homework! How often does that happen?

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**(Hermione's Journal)**

**Lunch (12:38pm)**

Ginny looks exceptionally happy today. I wonder why… she is writing in her Diary and smiling to herself…very suspicious…what can she be up to…

(12:40pm)

Uh-oh! I looked to see what she was writing (I know a very scummy thing to do, but I was curious) and I couldn't see everything, but this is what I got:

…Colin thinks…good hair…piece of pie…Dean…shouldn't be happy…hot today…how often…

Yup, that's about it…what could it mean…hmmm…

(12:47pm)

Okay, I think I figured it out: Ginny is going to make some kind of potion with Colin's hair and a piece of pie and then feed it to Dean to make her happy…oh, and she will make it hot…

I know, random, but I bet it is something like that.

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**(Ron's napkin)**

**Still at lunch (12:49pm)**

Wow it seams like everyone is writing in some sort of notebook today. The great hall is unusually quiet. Ginny is looking quite happy and Hermione is trying to read what Ginny is writing in her diary. Harry is stuffing his face next to me. It's quite gross really…

(12:51pm)

I just slapped Harry on the head. It was really funny, a piece of meat flew out of his mouth and hit Pavarti on the head! HAHAHA!

(12:52pm)

Neville is nowhere to be seen...

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**(Harry's Journal)**

**Lunch is almost over! (12:55pm)**

Ron really needs to get himself a Journal of his own. His bag is filled with old essays, spare bits of parchment, and wrinkled napkins that he writes on instead…maybe I can convince Hermione to get him one. I bet Ron would love anything from Hermione, since, I dunno…THEY ARE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER! Sheesh, when are they going to open their eyes and admit it to each other!

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**(Ginny's Diary)**

**History of magic (1:18pm)**

I wonder where Neville is…he wasn't at Lunch today…what could that mean…

(1:20pm)

This class is_ sooo _boring, but I need to take notes or I will fail…

(1:25pm)

Nope. I tried to pay attention, I swear, but Bins is more dull than a…a…I dunno? What's more dull than Bins?

**Dull Stuff**

BINS!

History of magic

Flobberworms

The weather right now (it's raining, but not hard enough to be a storm) gray, cloudy, slightly windy, etc.

Ummm this desk? No graffiti or scratches or anything…

(1:40pm)

WAIT! Did he just assign a test? When? On what? AHHH! I was too busy writing about how boring this class is to notice…oh well, on the bright side this class is almost over!

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**(Hermione's Journal)**

**Common Room (6:27pm)**

People around here have officially gone crazy! This whole place is mad! Harry and Ron are plotting ways to make Dean and Ginny break up. Harry, because he is totally (did I just say totally?) in love with Ginny. I think Ron is just doing it because he doesn't want anyone to go out with his sister (which doesn't help Harry much.) Or maybe he just doesn't want to do his homework…

Anyway…back to crazy people…Ginny and Dean are sitting at a table together in the back of the room. Dean is talking to Ginny, but she isn't listening. She is writing in her Diary again. Honestly! Does Dean really not notice that she really doesn't care what he has to say? Ron and Harry might not even need to brake them up, I'm surprised that Ginny hasn't done it herself already.

Let's see…who else is acting crazy…

**Crazy People in the Common Room**

Lavender is eating a slug for a dare (personally I'm surprised that she is letting that thing come close to her…she must be getting something good…)

Seamus is seeing if it would hurt to stick his hand in the fire (ok, no that's just stupid)

Colin and Denis Creevey are mixing together random ingredients from their beginner potion kits…uh oh I see a nasty looking green smoke coming out of there caldron...oh well, I'm too lazy to go over there and stop them right now.

Katie Bell and her friend LeAnn are dancing like maniacs over by the stairs.

umm…I think that's about it…

Wait! No! I see another crazy person! I just randomly decided to look out the window and I saw Neville! He was dancing in the rain! With a Flowered pot! Yes, not a _flower_ pot, but a FLOWERED POT! That is to say, a pot with flowers painted all over it…yes the students at this school have gone insane!

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**Note:** Reviews are like the cherry on top of a wonderful icecream sunday for writters!

**Note from 7/27/10 - **I am changing the formats of some of my chapters on here, I'm not sure if it will delete reviews so just watch out!


	5. Chapter 5 I Love Me Some Turnips

**Disclaimer: **I dont own Harry Potter, JKR does, i am the vice president of a pencil factory tho...and a pencil doctor...that has to count for something

**Note: **SORRY SORRY SORRY this took FOR-EVER to get up...i actually had it written, just not typed...and school just started and what not...i promise the next couple will be up MUCH sooner tho. i would also like EVERYONE who reads this to PLEASE vote in my poll, i have another one i want to put up concerning THIS story, but i am not taking that one down until at least 10 votes are in the current one. well enough blabbering...go read, be happy, review, u know the drill :)

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Chapter 5

I Love Me Some Turnips

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**Friday (8:16am)**

**Great Hall**

**(Harry's Journal)**

I just got my note from McGonagall telling me the details of my detention. I still can't believe that she gave me detention just for writing in class! Anyway, she said I am going to be dusting the book shelves in the library tonight. Well, that's not too bad…

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**Charms (9:00am)**

**(Ron's Charms worksheet)**

I can't pay attention today. Want to know why? I can't pay attention because today is THE day! At lunch today I will be meeting Hermione in Moaning Myrtles bathroom. I have no idea what this meeting could be about, but I am just glad that she is talking to me again.

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**Notes Passed In DADA (11:12)**

Ron: Are we still gunna meet at lunch?

Hermione: Yes. You didn't tell Harry did you?

Ron: Don't worry I didn't

Hermione: Did you tell 'Lav-Lav'

Ron: No…

Hermione: what dot, dot, dot!

Ron: I forgot to tell you something important…

Hermione: WHAT!

Ron: Later! Snape's looking!

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**(Ginny's Diary)**

**Lunch (12:05)**

I can't find Ron or Hermione anywhere. I saw them sneak off right before lunch, but I didn't see where they went. I hope they have decided to make up. Ron was being such a jerk to Hermione…and it's SO obvious that they like each other. If they _have _made up I hope they will finally get together. I hope Harry and I get together… WAIT! What am I saying? I have a _boyfriend _for goodness sake! True, it's a boyfriend who I don't even like, but still… UGH! I need to talk to Hermione!

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**(Hermione's Journal)**

**Court Yard at Break (2:45)**

YES! YES! YES! I am SOOO happy right now! I need to calm down. But it's just so hard when I am this happy!

(2:46)

Wow, I really need to stop bouncing around like this…people are starting to stare.

(2:47)

Okay. I just need to go out and say it. Let me recount what happened during lunch:

I told Ron to meet me in the Bathroom at lunch because I wanted to tell him something and I needed a private place. Besides it's not like anyone else in there right mind would go into Moaning Myrtles bathroom, especially when they could be eating. Anyway I told him I needed to talk to him in private. The truth was I had absolutely nothing to tell him, I was just hoping he would have something to say to me…

So anyway, when we both got there he turned to me and said in that amazingly irresistible voice of his: "So what did you want to talk about?"

At that point I made the terrible mistake of looking into his eyes, I swear it's like some kind of magical force makes me look! Actually that wouldn't be that hard to believe…we ARE in a magical school after all.

So I looked into his eyes and naturally lost my train of thought. That's when he asked me again, "Hermione! What did you have to say?"

Then I opened my mouth to reply and I said the first thing that came to my mind: "I just LOVE me some turnips!"

Well, of course he looked at me like I was insane, which I was…so I tried again: "I REALLY just LOVE me some of those turnips!" I mean seriously, where did that come from! I don't even LIKE turnips!

Just then the strangest thing happened. Dean Thomas ran into the bathroom, flushed one of the toilets and ran back out. Not kidding…that really happened. It was a good thing too because Ron and I both forgot my stupidity and burst out laughing.

We were both clutching on to one another, gasping for breath when I suddenly remembered that something big had happened between Ron and Lavender.

I stood up abruptly and looked him straight in the eye again. This time I managed to control myself as I asked: "So what did happen with you and _Lav-Lav_?"

Ron stopped laughing too and looked at me nervously. "I well…I kinda…"

"Oh spit it out Ron!"

"Alright! I broke up with her this morning!"

I was so happy I could hardly speak! Ron and Lav-Lav broken up a last! This was great! I actually had a chance now! I wanted to both kiss him and jump up and start singing…but I didn't I just stared at him, open mouthed until I regained my senses and looked at my watch.

"Oh my, Ron!" I gasped, "Our next class starts in less than five minutes!"

"Oh yeah…we better go then…" said Ron clearly hurt.

It suddenly dawned on me that Ron might have wanted an actual response to his exclamation.

"Ron" I said calmly putting a hand on his shoulder, " I am really glad that you broke up with Lavender-(no point saying that he was stupid to go out with her in the first place)-she really wasn't right for you- (I am right for you dimwit!)- and I think you did the right-(if not LATE)- thing."

He just smiled at me in response and we left the bathroom together.

* * *

**(Ginny's Diary)**

**Common Room (6:30pm)**

I DON'T BELIVE IT! Ron and Lavender BROKE UP! Well, ok so I did see _that _coming…but I never thought that Ron and Hermione would ever be brave enough to go out with each other! But apparently they are braver than I thought, because they are going out now…Ron…and Hermione…Lucky.

**Reasons why I am mad right about now**

Ron and Hermione are going out, but Harry and I are not.

I am going out with stupid Dean who is just…urg…STUPID!

Ron and Hermione are going out even though Hermione acted completely

insane earlier (she told me all about the turnip thing)

_I _don't even act insane when I talk to Harry and we still aren't going out.

I can't find my new quill anywhere! This is the third one I have lost in two weeks! Where do they keep going! …I have my suspicions about Cruckshanks…

* * *

**Note: **So wadd yall think? i love it, but thats just me, any ideas? please review!

**Quote from upcoming chapter: **"NO! i must strike back! i must try to keep the only girlfriend i have ever had!"

I wont tell you more than that, but i will say that there will be a surprise journal entree from a character who has not yet spoken OOO fun! try to guess who it will be!


	6. Chapter 6 How 'Bout Them Apples

**Notes:** Well, I just have to say SORRY, SORRY, SORRY for the long wait! I know I was going to put this up sooner, but I ran into some issues with my other fic "Too Good to be Fake" and as the break is coming up, teachers have been piling on the homework. Aaaaaaannnnd...TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY! WOO! So I was holding out for a little while to submit this chapter today; more sentimental that way. Gold Star for anyone who can guess my age in a review! Oh, and I would just like to throw out a special thank you to "A True Weasley" for all the wonderful praise on this fic, this chapter is dedicated to you!

**Disclaimer:** I'm afraid to say that I do not own any part of the spectacular, wonderful, Funkatudanal world that it Harry Potter...though I do claim credit for the word Funkatudanal...

* * *

Chapter 6

How 'Bout Them Apples

* * *

**Friday (7:01pm)**

**In the common room**

**Deans Notebook**

THATS IT! I can't take it any more! I am so sick and tired of everyone treating me like the bad guy! Ok, so I did write on Harry's robes so... there is that... But I'm really not that terrible! I mean, Harry's mad because I am going out with Ginny. Ron's mad because I am going out with Ginny. And Ginny's mad because I am going out with, er...her.

The easy way to solve all this madness would be to just break up with Ginny, but... nah, that'd be so humiliating! It would be like giving in and being beaten by Harry Potter AGAIN!"

No. I must strike back! I must try to keep the only girlfriend I have ever had!

(7:07pm)

Ooo. Here comes Potter, the evil one, now. I'd better look like I'm doing something so he doesn't come over here!

(7:08)

OH! I better hide this notebook!

(7:15)

**In the Corridor**

Ok, I'm safe now. I had to leave before Harry caught me writing about how much I hate him. Well, I don't really HATE him, I'm just aggravated that he is trying to steal my girl! Anyway, I had to escape the common room. I am now standing outside the Gryffindor tower by the fat lady. I feel much better out here.

(10:35pm)

**Back in the common room**

Well, so much for being safe in the corridor. About thirty seconds after I had gotten comfortable on the floor, Snape came around and decided to randomly give me a detention.

FOR NO REASON!

Apparently I looked suspicious! I mean come on! Can't we even sit around writing without looking like we are up to something?

Gah! I hate it when that happens!

Cause...that happens and stuff...all the time...

Man I hate this.

**Reasons Why I am Furious Right Now**

1. I got detention for writing in a notebook! Well, I admit, most people don't just stand around writing...still...

2. I had to serve detention with SNAPE! As if an unjust detention wasn't bad enough! It had to be with SNAPE!

3. I had to de-gum the underside of Snape's desk for the detention. I mean, that was completely pointless and unrelated to what I did in the first place...Though I didn't DO anything in the first place...

4. There was A-LOT of gum under Snape's desk! I'm talking HUNKS and HUNKS of gum! How gum even ended up in Snape's office I don't know. I can't think why anyone would even WANT to go in Snape's office.

5. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny write in their notebooks and journals All the time. I'm talking ALL THE TIME. Everywhere...classes, common room, lunch. And they have NEVER gotten detention for just that...Well, technically Harry did once...but I'm going to ignore that fact because that would make my list shorter.

6. HARRY MADE ME GET DETENTION! Well, that's not completely true, but I left the common room because Harry came in, so I GET TO BLAME HIM!

Harry has started this war, but I'm going to finish it! I will get Harry back if it is the LAST THING I DO!

Mwa-ha-ha!

* * *

**(10:48pm)**

**In the Common Room**

**Harry's Journal**

Hmm. Dean is acting quite strange. First he left the common room RIGHT when I came in, then he came back 3 hours later covered in gum and looking very sulky. Then he started muttering to himself and scribling in his notebook. _AND_...he just cackled a minute ago. He literally _cackled _like a witch! (the stereotypical non Hogwarts kind of course) He went "MWA-HA-HA!"

I mean, who _does _that?

But worst of all, Dean was looking directly at ME when he cackled. What had Dean got against me?

(10:51)

Well, aside from the fact that I am trying to steal his girlfriend, and turn the whole school against him, hopefully by embarrassing him in the process. But really, apart from that...

* * *

**(11:18pm)**

**In the Common Room**

**Dean's Notebook**

Finally! It's taken a while, but I am finally the last one in the common room.

Why you (who's you?) may ask, do I need to be the last one in the common room? Because I have decided to strike tonight! Tonight I will get my revenge on Harry Potter! Tonight at midnight I will do something to ensure that Ginny will stay my girlfriend! I must do something to Harry that will gross Ginny, and everyone else out!

(11:25)

Now I only have to decide what it is that I am going to do...

(11:33)

Well I could...no.

(11:38)

Or maybe I could...

(11:42)

With the little green men...

(11:43)

AH-HA! I've got it! Now I just need to sneak into the dormitory, unsuspected, and attack!

(11:57)

Ok, I'm at the door. 3 more minutes and I'll strike!

(11:58)

ALMOST TIME-!

(11:59)

ONE MORE MINUTE! I'm sooo excited!

(11:59 and 24 seconds)

AH! The suspense is killing me!

(11:59 and...)

SNAP! My watched stopped working! You know what, I think it's about time now! IM GOING IN!

(12:03am)

**Back in the Common Room**

Okayy! I did it! And I just have to say, I think I did a pretty good job if you ask me. Oh yes, Harry, you best be watchin' your back now, cuz the DEANSTER'S IN THE HOUSE! Yeah baby! How 'bout them apples!

* * *

**End Notes:** So waddya think? It was a bit short, I know, but I thought that anything else would ruin my wonderful cliff hanger...hehe I've always wanted to write one :) HA! Anyway I hope to have the next chapter up before Christmas! R&R PLEASE!

p.s. Did anyone notice that the last time (12:03) in Deans notebook is todays date (my birthday!) hehe I actually just noticed that now :) total mistake!


	7. Chapter 7 What Am I? Chopped Liver?

**Notes:** LOOK! I posted on time this time (remember I said the next chap would be up before Christmas- te-he.) MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE! It's a pretty long one, and really goes in depth into Harry and Deans head to head conflicts...YES you finally get to understand what the DEANSTER did to Harry last time...! Go. Read. Eat Bacon.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter, BUT I _did_ find this really awesome set of HP playing cards in my closet that I never knew I had! Life is just FULL of pleasant surprises!

* * *

Chapter 7

What am I? Chopped Liver?

* * *

**Saturday (7:02am)**

**Boy's Dormitory**

**Harry's Journal**

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

* * *

**(7:22am)**

**Hospital Wing**

**Harry's Journal**

That is it! I can't take it anymore! Dean needs to go! Do you (again who's you?) know what he did to me? Huh? Do you have ANY idea what he did to me this time? I'll tell you what he did! HE GAVE ME A FREAKING PURPLE MUSTACHE! AHH!

(7:29am)

Okay, Madame Pomfrey has just finished assuring me that the mustache will be gone in a few hours. All I have to do is drink three nasty potions: one to get rid of the purple, one to get rid of the mustache, and one to get rid of the boils that the 2nd potion leaves on my face.

GAH! This whole thing is terrible!

(7:31am)

Well, at least the whole school didn't see me this time... just Ron, Seamus, and Neville... and they won't tell anyone...

(7:32am)

Right?

(7:38am)

Well I just took the first potion. In a few minutes the purple will be no more! Though Madame Pomfrey did warn me that things may start to look a little different... I wonder...

(7:40-something)

OOO! BLOOO! The world has gone blooo! HA HA HA! This is great, my hand's blue! HA HA HA!

(7:50)

Okay, the blue is gone. Wow I feel weird. Hmm that last entry I wrote didn't make ANY sense! Ha! Okay time for potion number... TWO!

(7:53.751829)

Why is that monkey messing with me? STOP! Stop it! I don't want to eat the yellow frog! Nooo! Maybe I should... hippo... out the window?

(8:10)

Someone should probably take this book away from me, I am not comprehensible at the moment.

On the plus side the mustache is gone! WHOO! But now my chin is covered in gross boils... ew.

(8:12)

Great, Madame Pomfrey just came over and told me that I have to wait ten more minutes before I can take the last potion! Darn you Dean Thomas!

What's that? Oh, Pomfrey said I have a visitor. Great.

(8:12)

Foul, evil little devil! Want to take a wild little guess at who was my visitor?

a) Dumbledore

b) Justin Finch Fletchly

c) Mrs. Figg

or

d) DEAN THOMAS!

I think my capital letters say it all. And you know what the worst part was? Dean had a CAMERA! I don't know how he got one, probably stole it from Creevey... BUT he TOOK A PICTURE OF ME! With boils all over my face!

I'm not quite sure how the conversation went, because I was still pretty out of it, but from what I gathered, I think it went something like:

DEAN: "Hey Potter, I heard you were sitting up here all alone because you were too much of a baby to accept your... uh, unusual facial growth."

ME: "I'm gunna kill you Dean! Just wait, I'll hit you on the head with a canolli!"

DEAN: "Wow Potter, gone crazy too. You know I didn't do anything... hey whats that gross stuff on your face?"

(Then he took a picture)

ME: "You better run Dean! Cause when I get to you I'm gunna make you into a pie!"

(The Dean just laughed and walked out of the room)

I really am going to kill that guy! Not only did he give me a mustache, but he made me crazy! This mood better go away!

(8:22)

Uh oh. Here comes Pomfrey with the last potion! I don't want to take it! Who knows what it's going to do to me now!

* * *

**(8:30)**

**Great Hall-Breakfast**

**Ginny's Diary**

Something is going on. I'm not sure WHAT it is, but something strange is definitely going on between Dean and Harry. Last night Dean was acting VERY odd... he kept glaring evilly at Harry, then he cackled, then he made sure he was the last one left in the common room. And then this morning a scream came from their dormitory and the next thing I saw was Harry sprinting down the stairs with a pillow covering his face! He went straight through the portrait hole without any type of explanation. Dean came down a few seconds later with a huge grin on his face, swinging a camera around his finger... odd indeed... Though I think it is safe to say that Dean was the mastermind behind this shabooze.

(8:33)

Though how Dean managed to come up with a master plan on his own I don't understand.

(8:34)

I mean he's having trouble with the ketchup bottle right now.

(8:35)

I wonder what Dean did... maybe I should just ask him...

(8:39)

Well, that was a waste of time. He can be SO annoying... all the time... our conversation went as fallows:

ME: "Hey Dean, can I ask you something real fast?"

DEAN: "Fine, but don't expect an answer hot stuff."

ME: "What did you do to Harry this morning"

DEAN: "I didn't do ANYTHING to Harry _this morning..." _

ME: "Don't lie to me Dean."

DEAN: "Look, you wanna go snog in a corner?"

ME: "No Dean, I wanna know what happened to Harry!"

DEAN: "Well, then you'd better run along to the 4th floor corridor and figure it out yourself!"

UGH! I mean, how annoying can you get!

...Sooo waddya think? Should I go for it? Check out the 4th floor corridor? Or just stay here... hmmm.

(8:42)

Well, no point in staying here. It's not like I'm gunna get anything else out of Dean.

* * *

**(8:48)**

**In the 4th floor corridor**

Oh. My. Goodness.

* * *

**(9:01am)**

**Standing outside the Hospital Wing**

**Harry's Journal**

Freee-dom! I am _finally _out of that horrible place! I swear, I don't care HOW badly I am hurt in the future, I am NEVER going back in the infirmary.

After I took that last potion, Madame Pomfrey made me stay for another 30 minutes to make sure my arms didn't fall off (apparently that can be a side effect sometimes) and she only let me leave after I swore to her that I wouldn't eat any worms for at least two days (?) I mean, really. What was the point in that? Who would want to eat worms anyway!

Well, I guess I'd better go find Ron and Hermione and tell them what happened. Ooor I could go hunt down Dean and make him pay for what he did!

…

…

…

Calm yourself Harry, you mustn't resort to violence. Bide your time until the VERY right moment. Wait, wait.

* * *

**(9:06)**

**2 floors down from where I last was, very near the 4th floor corridor.**

Hmm... what is that strange sound coming from the 4th floor corridor?

(9:07)

Sounds like laughter... yes definitely a group of voices... many people.

I wonder what's going on. I'm gunna go check it out.

* * *

**(9:15)**

**In the room of requirement (at least this is better than taking refuge in Moaning Myrtles Bathroom.)**

THAT IS IT! I MEAN IT THIS TIME! DEAN IS GOING DOWN! SOON!

**Reasons why Dean is going to die soon**

1. He is going out with Ginny, who should be mine.

2. He doesn't even like him anyway, he is always doing things that annoy her, and me.

3. He put an annoying message on the back of my robes- No, I will never let that humiliation go!

4. He is always cackling at me and freaking me out!

5. He gave me a PURPLE MUSTACHE!

6. He took a picture of me all mustached up!

7. He caused me to take 3 disgusting potions and get boils on my face!

8. HE TOOK A PICTURE OF ME WITH THE BOILS!

and

9. HE PUT THE PICTURES OF ME WITH A MUSTACHE AND BOILS ON THE WALL ON THE WALL IN THE 4th FLOOR CORRIDOR!

(9:20am)

Okay, I have calmed down a bit and have decided to respond to this in a very civil, mature way. WHAT AM IS SAYING! No I haven't! DEAN IS GOING DOWN! (yes I realize that I have said this _many _times already, but I REALLY mean it this time!)

How dare Dean take such humiliating pictures of me and then plaster them up for everyone to see! What does he think I am? Chopped liver?

NO! I'll tell you who I am! I am Harry-Freakin' Potter, that's who! And Harry Potter does NOT let people treat him like this! The. Fight. Is. ON!

* * *

**End Notes:** I dunno... I might just have to leave this fic right here for a while... I am out of ideas and I haven't been getting ANY nice reviews...soo ta ta for now.

JUST KIDDING! No! Psh I would never do that! And besides I have been getting THE BEST REVIEWS! Really, I LOVE YOU GUYS! THANKS THANKS THANKS for reviewing and being so nice! It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside to know that people are actually _reading _what I am writing...or at least doing a good job pretending to! KISSES to my favorite 'virtual' friends! R&R!

Stay tuned!


	8. Chapter 8 The Eternal Master

**Notes:** HELLO ladies and gents. Okay, so I know that the pick axes and torches are all ready for my death for lack of posting… and I really don't have too many excuses. I did go to FLORIDA though, HARRY POTTER WORLD is great. But I have the next chapter all ready for you! So after a few days I will put the next one up. I PROMISE! Enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** I do not claim ownership for Harry Potter, or its world, or its people, or its places.

* * *

Chapter 8

The Eternal Master

* * *

**Sunday (7:50pm)**

**One day after the mustache incident**

**Gryffindor Common Room**

**Ron's History of Magic Essay**

…and that's why Elfic the Evil should have smashed Uric the Odball to bits the second he suspected him of treachery! The little scumbag should have been pounded into the ground like the miserable spec he was! Elfric never deserved to be hung in front of the entire goblin liaison office just for wanting another goblins girlfriend!

* * *

**Monday (2:15pm)**

**Two days after the mustache incident**

**Muggle Studies**

**Hermione's Journal**

Great. Another class with Dean.

I really cannot believe that he has not been punished for what he did to Harry! If only we had some kind of proof. STILL if I was Harry I would have—I dunno DONE SOMETHING major to him by now. But Harry doesn't even seem that mad at Dean… boys are weird.

Talking about weird boys, I caught Ron actually WRITING an essay yesterday. He seemed… really fixed on it, so I didn't interrupt.

(2:18)

Though. I am his girlfriend now… maybe he WANTED me to come help him on it…

(2:19)

Or maybe he was working hard JUST FOR ME!

(2:20)

Yeah, I like the second option better. I'm going to go with that.

(2:21)

Unless…

OH! GER A GRIP HERMIONE! There didn't have to be a reason for Ron's actions! Knowing him he probably didn't even realize what he was doing.

(2:25)

Then again… maybe that's what happened when he asked me out! Maybe he didn't know what he was doing! I mean, it has been three days since he asked me, and we haven't acted any differently around each other.

(2:27)

I think I am going insane. I get what I want and I'm still not happy.

(2:28)

Screw this, I hate hormones.

* * *

**Tuesday (1:12pm)**

**Three days after the mustache incident**

**Transfiguration**

**Ginny's Diary**

Dean is driving me mad. I tell you there is something seriously wrong with that boy. I mean, he used to be cute and all, but now he's just plain annoying! At first I liked him because he was tall… and handsome… and chiseled… WAIT! What am I talking about? Have I stooped so low that I only care about looks? Come on! Remember what Dean just did to Harry? That was just plain cruel! Boyfriend or not, no one messes with my other friends!

Speaking of which… I am really surprised that Harry hasn't done anything yet…

-Oh, wait I just got a note from Colin:

Colin: Hey Ginny. How are you doing?

Ginny: Fine—why, should I be feeling bad?

Colin: No, no. It's just I was wondering if you were still with Dean?

Ginny: Well, I was 30 mins ago when he walked me to class and kissed me goodbye.

Colin: Huh. Yeah I guess you're right… well I thought it was really mean what he did to Harry the other day! I can't believe he wasn't caught!

Ginny: Colin, we have been through this before! Dean is my boyfriend; you shouldn't be telling me how mean you think he is! Besides… how do you know that he was the one to put the pictures of Harry up?

Colin: Just a hunch… and I disagree Ginny, you NEED to open your eyes and get it into your head that DEAN is NOT the guy for YOU! You are too nice, and cool for him, you deserve someone better!

* * *

**Wednesday (5:10pm)**

**Four days after the mustache incident**

**Outside in the courtyard**

**Deans Notebook**

Well… this week has been, uh, extremely uneventful.

I really thought Harry would have retaliated by now.

Huh. Maybe he has given up for good!

Maybe he has finally accepted that I AM THE RULER OF THIS KINGDOM!

(5:13pm)

Or maybe that's what he wants me to think!

(5:15pm)

Or maybe THAT'S what he wants me to think…wait…

* * *

**Thursday (7:19am)**

**Five days after the mustache incident**

**In the Owlery**

**Harry's Journal**

Okay today is the day! It has been hard; let me tell you, to not just attack Dean at any chance I can get. It has taught me self control… this is very good—BUT TODAY IS THE DAY!

You may be wondering why today is the day, why the past four days have not been THE day. Well, I will tell you: I was biding my time, waiting for the best possible moment to act. IO thought it would be good to lead him into a false sense of security that was… well, false.

But mark my words: TODAY I WILL STIRKE! Today will be the day that will end it all (hopefully.) Today will be the day that Dean is ruined and Harry Potter will live on in the minds of everyone else at Hogwarts as the ONE! I shall be the Eternal Master!

And now! To breakfast!

(7:27am)

Oh wait, I never told you my master evil plan—my _Eternal_ Master evil plan that is.

(7:33am)

Here we are:

**HARRY POTTER'S ETERNAL MASTER PLAN**

*Guaranteed to make Dean look like the little turd he is, and to make Harry Potter look completely foxy amazing by comparison.*

-top secret, not even Ron and Hermione know. Must not risk the chance of Dean finding out.

Supplies: Cauldron cakes, minor truth potion, slow acting Canary Cream, wand.

Stage 1: Contact Fred and George in private for supplies.

Stage 2: Throw a party in the Gryffindor common room.

Stage 3: Set up a plate with a cauldron cake that has both the Canary Cream and the truth potion inside.

Stage 4: Give cake to Ginny to take to Dean (The only tricky part will be persuading Ginny.)

Stage 5: Wait until Dean eats the cake then go over to him and ask him if he was the one who hexed my robe and then gave me a mustache, and then took the pictures (This is where the truth potion comes in.)

Stage 6: When he starts to confess cast the Sonorus charm on him so everyone in the common room can hear.

Stage 7: Once everyone's eyes are on Dean the Canary Cream will burst into effect and Dean will turn into a CANARY!

(7:36am)

Yes… that will sure show him!

* * *

**Thursday (8:42am)**

**Five days after the mustache incident**

**Charms class**

**Dean's Notebook**

Well, I guess I was right! I really must have showed Potter with my mustaching skillZ. Yeah. Home DAWG Dean is in the house now! Bow down to my evilness and WORSHIP!

(8:45am)

But seriously, Harry hasn't done anything going on five days. I must be safe.

* * *

**Thursday (9:12am)**

**Five days after the mustache incident**

**Notes passed in Charms between Ron and Hermione**

R- Can you see what Harry is doing?

H- No Ron, he is next to YOU! Why don't YOU look?

R- Cuz that would be a betrayal of trust.

H- ?

R- Last night I asked Harry if he was planning to do anything to get back at Dean. He gave me this shifty look and told me to promise not to interfere.

H- Well if it's so important for you to keep your promise of loyalty or whatever, then why are you asking me to look?

R- BECAUSE I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE IS PLANNING!

H- grr…

(2 mins later)

H- Okay he seems to be looking at order forms for Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

R- Uh oh.

H- WHAT?

R- Well, if Fred and George are in on this then it is sure to be something big… or illegal.

H- Or both!

* * *

**Thursday (5:18pm)**

**Five days after the mustache incident**

**In the Owlery**

**Harry's Journal**

Okay Fred and George sent me my package after my last class, so now all I have to do is plant the seed and RUMBLE!

(5:21pm)

I mean… throw a party and make the DEATHLY CAULDRON CAKE! The first one just sounded cooler.

* * *

**Thursday (8:05pm)**

**Five days after the mustache incident**

**Gryffindor Common Room**

**Ginny's Diary**

Well, this is odd. Harry just called everyone in to the common room for an impromptu party. That is so not like him. Normally I would just go with it but… something tells me that Harry has an ulterior motive. Hmmm.

(8:10)

Something is definitely up. Harry is being much to nice to Dean and really weird around everyone else.

* * *

**Thursday (11:20pm)**

**Girls Dormitory**

**Ginny's Diary**

Wow. I cannot believe what just happened. Actually. I really CAN believe it. I think everyone in the school suspected it but, Wow.

Sometimes I just don't know what goes through those boys minds.

Okay so basically Harry proved to everyone that Dean WAS the one who gave him the mustache and took the pictures, and was even the one who wrote that message on the back of Harry robes a few weeks ago.

(11:30pm)

It was strange. I knew that Harry was up to something, but when Dean asked me to get him some food (the lazy jerk) and Harry took a very long time selecting a cake, I decided to go ahead and give it to Dean anyway.

And then when Harry followed me back to Dean and pretended to tie his show I KNEW that something was going to happen but, what can I say, I was curious!

I must say, I was impressed; the truth potion Cauldron cake was pretty clever… in a stupidly obvious sort of way. But luckily for Harry, Dean is even more stupid than him, so he fell for it. And then when Harry cast the Sonorus charm to make sure the whole Gryffindor house hear the truth… not bad.

(11:38pm)

But the best part was when Dean turned into a canary.

* * *

**Friday (12:02am)**

**Exactly three hours after the canary/cauldron incident (the CCI)**

**Boys Dormitory**

**Harry's Journal**

Oh yes. The Eternal Master strikes again.

* * *

**End Notes: **Well. I liked it. ;p hehehe. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! Really. I loooove reviews. I want to marry them, I do. ALSO fun fact, I case any of you like Starkid Potter on Youtube and have seen A Very Potter Sequel, I would just like to say that I did not steal "Harry-Freakn' Potter" from them (see end of chapter 7) I published that chapter 7 days before they even announced the idea for a sequel. JUST SAYING. And if you DON'T know what A Very Potter Sequel (or Musical) is, then you NEED to go to youtube and watch it. KISSES!


	9. Chapter 9 The Fall of Home Dawg Dean

**Notes: **Hello readers! Been a long time, I know. And... uh... I just realized that I already had this chapter written up... so... I guess it could have been up a while ago. huh. ANYWAY I hope everyone is having a nice March! Happy St. Patricks day, uh yeah. That's about it! Go! READ REVIEW!

**Disclaimer:** Normally I would start this disclaimer off by saying that Harry Potter is not mine (its not) and then stating something that IS in fact mine (my cupcake) but I'm going to do something different this time! CONTEST TIME! First person to review with the name of this song (by the band ALL CAPS- look it up) gets a mention in the next chapter! "this year instead of movies or a motorcycle please, theres just one thing i want under the tree" GOOD LUCK!

Chapter 9

The fall of Home Dawg Dean

* * *

**Friday (11:42am)**

**Transfiguration**

**Dean's Notebook**

I hate Potter. Ruining my life. Making me look bad in front of everyone, especially Ginny... Making me turn into a canary.

Gosh! Why does everyone have to be against me? I'm the Deanster! HOME DAWG DEAN! I mean, I can RAP!

Look at me, I am Dean!

I rule the school and look so cool!

I've got the girl, and everybody knows-

That what Home Dawg Dean says,

GOES!

(11:50 am)

Yeah, that's right Potter! Try to beat those mad Skillz!

(11:55am)

On the other hand, I wonder why Ginny has been ignoring me today? She walked down to breakfast without me, and when I got there she was already sitting between Neville and Pavati Patil.

She can't be mad at me... can she?

* * *

**(12:02pm)**

**Notes passed in History of Magic**

Colin: DO IT ALREADY!

Ginny: Huh? Hey Colin.

Colin: Don't play dumb with me, you know what I am talking about.

Ginny: Keep your shirt on mate, I've got it all planned out.

Colin: Oh. Well, good then. I'm getting sick of waiting for you to ditch that guy.

Ginny: I know, I know. It's just- even though I know he is such a liar and loser, I still don't want to hurt his feeling.

Colin: Come on Ginny, the dude's a slime ball. He walks all over you! You are really surprising me. The Ginny I know would stand up for herself.

Ginny: Hey!

Colin: I'm just saying since you started dating him you have been a bit of a pushover.

Ginny: Well, I don't know about pushover.

Colin: You open doors for that jerk.

Ginny: Good point. Fine, he will be gone by the end of the day.

Colin: That's my girl.

* * *

**(1:36pm)**

**Ancient Runes**

**Hermione's Journal**

Ginny has been avoiding Dean all day. I wonder why...

Ha! Just Kidding! After what happened with that little sneak last night, I wouldn't be surprised if anyone who had any relation to him tried to distance themselves.

I bet she will break up with him tonight. That would be great! I am so sick of seeing her with the wrong guy.

Reasons why Ginny should dump Dean

1. Dean is not really that cute

2. He is such a greasy little jerk ball

3. She is sooo secretly in love with Harry

4. Dean is so mean to Ginny

5. Dean is so mean to Harry

6. Dean turned into a canary! HAHAH!

Okay, so that last one didn't really count, but come on, it was SO funny!

****

**

* * *

**

****

(1:59pm)

**Divination**

**Harry's Journal**

I'm bored. I know, I should be all happy because I finally beat Dean but, I'm really not that much better off now…

Well, that's not true. I am glad that everyone knows the truth now. But I guess I just thought that embarrassing Dean would somehow lead Ginny into my waiting arms.

(2:05pm)

Is that crazy?

(2:06pm)

Of course not! I'm Harry Potter! I will get Ginny in the end! I know it!

(2:07pm)

That is… once Ginny ditches Dean. Ugh! I really cannot believe that she has stayed with him for so long! What does he have that I don't have!

Reasons why Ginny MIGHT like Dean

1. Dean is tall

2. Ginny hates Cho and Dean never went out with Cho

3. Dean…uh…

Yeah! That's right! I can't even think of another reason! So Ginny can't REALLY like Dean that much more than me!

(2:11pm)

Then… why is she still dating him? Gah.

* * *

**(2:16pm)**

**Divination**

**Ron's Planetary Movements sheet (because it's not like I'm ever going to use this anyway)**

I do not understand Divination. You know what's another thing that I don't understand? Why the heck Ginny is still dating Dean!

(2:18pm)

Okay calm down Ron. No need to get all worked up. I mean, it's not like I am the only one who thinks this. I have seen both Harry and Hermione ranting about Dean in their journals.

(2:20pm)

And NO, I was not snooping! I trust the bro code… Harry's journal just SLIPPED into my hand. Not really, Harry is sitting next to me and keeps asking me to think of reasons why Ginny might like Dean more than him.

(2:21pm)

Wait a minute! That is pretty much a confession that Harry DOES like Ginny!

(2:22pm)

Not that I didn't know this already! I'm soo gunna bust him for this!

____

___

* * *

_

**(****5:31pm)**

**Quidditch Pitch**

**Ginny's Diary**

Right. This is it. I told Dean to meet me down here at 5:30… he is late.

Figures.

I wonder if he would still come if he knew that I was going to break up with him.

Probably not.

___

* * *

_

**(5:46pm) **

**Hiding in the Quidditch Locker Room**

**Dean's Notebook**

That little—

You know what, never mind I'm not even going to think about her right now.

…

…

…

Not thinking about her

…

…

…

Forget this!

I mean who breaks up with someone on a Quidditch Pitch! Furthermore, who breaks up someone in five minutes! Okay… so maybe I didn't help things by meeting her so late and—

No! I am the victim here! Not her! Maybe it's not over… maybe she will take me back… Yet me think back on the conversation and see if there was anything there.

(6 minutes earlier)

Ginny: Dean. Finally, what took you so long?

Dean: Oh, you know, peach cobbler. Can't get enough- sorry babe.

Ginny: Please don't call me babe. Look Dean, we need to talk.

Dean: Fine. Can you make this quick though? Seamus nicked some cobbler from the kitchens and the DAWG is hungry.

Ginny: Dean. We're done. Over. I don't want to go out with you anymore. Sorry.

* * *

* * *

**(5:50pm)**

**Off the Entrance Hall**

**Ginny's Diary**

This. Is. What. Happened.

(2 minutes ago in the entrance hall)

I had just come up to school from dumping Dean and I heard voices in the Hall.

Ron: Come on! You said it yourself! You know you like her!

Harry: That's not what I said! I just meant generally why she would like him more than other people.

I just assumed that Harry and Ron were talking about Cho or some other girl but then I heard:

Ron: Come on Harry! I know you are in love with my sister! Just admit it!

Harry: FINE! ALRIGHT! I like Ginny! I really really like her!


End file.
